So from the title you have probably guessed what todays post is about, but for those of you out there who are not little Einstein’s I will explain.
I VERY MUCH DISLIKE HORROR FILMS.
I say dislike because I feel that it would be too harsh to say I hate horror films, for a small,tiny, select few of them can be slightly entertaining, but overall I’m not too fond of the genre. What I really dislike is how people act as though it’s strange that I don’t enjoy watching people be killed by strange and creepy things, in strange and creepy ways and that I should ‘man up’ and watch toby the fat 13 year old ginger kid from Nebraska be slaughtered by his sister Daisy because she just felt like being possessed that day. The devil is a liar, and so are you if you think I’m watching that. So for those of you out there with your dick in one hand and a now damp picture of Selena Gomez in the other ready to call me a pussy, just know that I have come to terms with the fact that I may sometime be called a pussy for my distain of horror films. This is for many reasons. Here i’ll even tell you them.
Reason number one.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. But on the off chance they do take a baseball bat to that specy shits knees than we’ll see who’s hurt “-Mahatma Gandhi.
so if you feel so strongly about my dislike of horror films don’t just say it behind my back, come meet me at the McDonalds car park at 4 o’clock sharp, i’ll end you, you Weasley little shit, you can even bring your boys for back up I’ll knock the HUF socks and huaraches off all your little minions one by one.
Reason number two.
My brother is more scared of these Horror films than I am. He is 18 years old, 6″1 and black but just the words horror and film, make him piss himself and it’s because of this that I see it socially acceptable for me not to like horror films, because at least unlike my brother, I can sometimes sit through one. Though you could argue that my brother is scared of many things, such as: the dark, gluten, dog’s, people his age, cats, people not his age, babies, scissors and the German guy Gustav who he met in an ally one night in London and asked him what that mouf do? So he’s not really the bar I should use to perceive wether it’s okay to be scared of something. But oh well.
Reason number three.
Im not all that scared of horror films. For me its more the fact that I’m freaked out after I watch one and then after that believe I’m in the world the film was set in, and that at any moment i will be killed by a masked murderer or that there are demons in my house. Now this may sound absurd and I may sound stupid but I’m serious, and I distinclty remember watching sinister 2 and afterwards thinking that film wasn’t scary at all, but later finding myself thinking kids were staring at me funny, squaring up to toddlers in the streets cause I thought they were possesed. But thats just me.
So those are my reason, you can take them or leave them, but to me they are all fair and understandable reasons that make me feel that it’s ok to be called a pussy for not liking horror films. And to all the soldiers out there sitting through the 11pm showing of ‘Paranormal Activity:The Ghost Dimension’ to impress Chelsea the 26 year old sports direct sales assistant with 15 kids and 16 different STD’s, even though they know they hate horror films. Just Ask yourself. Is it really worth it m8?